Rookie Rules: Lessons They Don’t Teach Before Your First Day

Transitioning from 21 straight years in classrooms to a full-time job blindsided me in ways no final exam ever could.

The technical work? Fine—I’d drilled for that since grade school.

What shook me were the things no syllabus covered:

• People dynamics I’d happily dodged for years.
• Office politics I didn’t even know were a game.

Although it was hard and took a long time, I managed to adapt. So, instead of nagging about it, let me share two lessons I learned.

Lesson 1: Don’t Take It Personally

When I first joined, the guy I was replacing was at open war with the company. His “handover” was just enough to tick the box; in reality, I had no idea how to do the job and blamed him for it. I thought he had a problem with me taking his place, and so, I wasn't about to try and seek his help; I was fully convinced I could do it all on my own, and I did.

But, eight-hour jobs took twelve, I did many mistakes and repeated my work from scratch countless times. I worked overtime every day—six days a week—until I figured things out a few months later. 

That same year, a different teammate, furious about an unrelated issue, tried unloading his anger on me. While I felt that I was being attacked, I didn't want to have to go through something similar to the handover. So, this time I listened, told him I understood why he was upset, and pointed out that refusing to work together would leave me buried in overtime on a problem I hadn’t created. Instead of being the victim, I took action. The tension eased; we finished the task, and the bond between us grew stronger than ever.

Lesson 2: Outsmart, Don’t Outshout

As the department rookie, I felt everyone was trying to undermine me, so I pushed back—loudly—which only hardened attitudes.

One day, I received an email from a colleague asking me to handle “printing and stapling papers” for a project we had been assigned to work on together. In my mind, that translated to: “do the donkey work and stay quiet.” The email triggered me. I was ready to write a response in which I lashed out at her, but I was sick of arguing with colleagues. So, I decided to cool off and think.

I had clashed with that colleague dozens of times, and each encounter only made things worse. So this time, I drafted the most politically correct response I’d written since I started working—something along the lines of:

“Happy to help, but to ensure accuracy I’ll need access to the source files so my work is error-free.”

Granting that access pulled me into the meat of the task, not just the stapler duty. She agreed, respect grew—zero fireworks.

So, the next time you go through something similar at work, I suggest you try to:

• Lead with courtesy. Assume the storm is on their side of the street.
• Listen first, react later. It saves hours—and professional relationships.
• Find the optimal solution—one in which you avoid conflict and still get what you want.
  

P.S. If you have gone through a similar situation, I'd love to hear about it!